Getting Ready

I am a new blogger, but thought this is the greatest opportunity to start to track my progress on my weight loss journey.  (this is  a bit of a ramble and meant to be my journal so that I can track my progress and spill my guts as I rearrange my guts).

I am 45 years old, a mom of two wonderful boys, and a workaholic.  I have been married to my husband, my partner and best friend for almost twenty years.  We are both in bad shape these days.  He had a triple bypass in February and is recovering fine -- but health wise continues to struggle with his weight.

This was my wake up call, and when I realized that I needed to do something about me.

The first thing I did when he was on the road to recovery was to start my search for a means to get weight loss surgery.  I attended my seminar at the local hospital and was sold that this is what I need to do.

Insurance required a six month medically supervised weight loss.  So I began my journey trying to get used to eating smaller bites and tracking everything that I ate.  The scale did not budge.

Two months went by and I began seeing a trainer with a friend.  Love the trainer, Love working out with the trainer.  Scale has not moved, ok it moved up.  

Month Five -- began working out with Cardio three times a week and trainer two times a week. -- scale moved, but only by three pounds, but it was down.  

I am ready for a change, to make a real change.  I am ready to take time for myself and not feel bad about it.  I am ready to make my kids do more and for me to do less -- even if I have to put up with all of the whining and complaining.  I am ready to put myself first.  (Although popular opinion in the house is that I do this already).  This will be a change for all of us and it is not going to be easy.  

The big change will be in the eating out.  This is where the workaholic comes in.  I throw so much of myself into my job, that by the time I come home I just want to relax and have people take care of me.  . . . We will adjust. 

So, now I am on the waiting game.  Waiting for the insurance to approve this and starting to get cold feet.  I am trying to determine if this is the right choice for me.  Since I tried really tried dieting for six months and the scale did not move down more than three pounds I know I need the help.  

I have been struggling for twenty years.  It is not for lack of trying because believe me I have tried, over and over and over and over.  Then I get defeated and stop trying and whatever I lost comes right back plus ten pounds.  I need to change this cycle.  The more I gain the worse I feel and the more defeated I become.  

Today I did the final medical tests prior to surgery -- Upper GI, Chest Xray and Abdominal ultrasound.  Now. . . . . waiting on the insurance and waiting for my day.